Raining...

I don't like raining day.
Because it makes me feel sad, down and depressed.
But, I do like the coolness in raining day. It makes me feel good.
Such a paradoxical expression of mine to the raining day.

Whenever I feel like crying out loud, I think of raining day.
I don't like it but I do enjoy the relief after every crying. It makes me feel better and relieved.
I cried a lot due to various kind of reasons.
Happy? Sadness? or merely a touching moment? I did cry for all these moments. My tears are not holding back for anything and it comes with the real of me.
I don't like to hide the small girl who lives inside my soul. My mom always said I'm such a naughty and immature lady.
But, mom...do u know tat I might look happy and strong from outside, the inner part of me, however, is not like what u have seen. I cry to myself.

Today, I can truly feel the small girl was crying out loud inside me. I can feel her from outside too. I pity her.
She knows me well. She knows what I'm thinking now.
And she knows tat I'm not allowed to do according to my wish. So, she cried.
I have no ideas when this gonna to end and I have no choice, I have to carry on.


Go on, leeli. Remember, U deserve better but u nid to work hard on it now.
The outcome is gonna be different from others. U gain more and more.
U might depressed, u might get upset but u gonna enjoyed after all.
The one thing u have to do now is bear with it, and work on it no matter how hard how tougher it's gonna be. Just do it.
U are lucky enuf to have all these kind of circumtances. So, use it well and do ur best.
I know u are upset but u got cheering moments as well. Just think of the good side. It gonna lead u to a better side. Be a bright spark!!!

Once again, I am a lucky girl and I appreciate everything that surrounds me.
Be good to myself and ppl surround me. ^^ cheer up leeli.

                                                        leelitou ^^