I must confess.

Accidentally, I browse through an interesting post in a blog.

The way she tells about her love story is awesome and creative.

If u don’t finish reading that, u would have thought that she is going to end a relationship. 

Speaking to her own perspective and the feelings to the relationship, I got the same feelings as her.

Her post, make me reminisce on my previous relationship with him.

Been through an almost 7 years relationship and I failed.

I used to be like her, thought that love is the only thing keep me survive, but I was wrong that time.

I fall in love in the age of 16 and I have to maintain a long distance kind of relationship which it is not supposed to be in my young age.

But, it just happened.

Friends, cousins even my relatives applause on our well running of relationship, that time, we were just went into 4^th year and I already study in KL he is just in another place.

Last time, I was naïve enough to tell him that let’s get marry if we still last till my age of 21.

That time, he was not making any promise.

So we keep moving on.

We both just look great in everything, ppl thought we will just get married once I finished my study. Especially, him.

But, they were wrong and we were wrong.

I started to feel smtg went wrong between us when we already in our 4^th year of relationship.

Somehow, things just went drastically without our knowledge. I lost that passion. My heart was just yelling at me u sure u love him? 

  

I always got the feeling like we been through 4 years d, why I feel like we were just good friend more than a couple?!!! I even think that I don’t deserve to have such good bf.

This actually scared me out of the shit as I not supposed to have such thinking!!! So, I grasped a ticket, rush to his side.  I found that feeling back. The feeling of we are in love with each other.

But I started questioned u whether u love me or not? Because I barely feel we were just friend. I can’t feel his love.

Of course he said yes. 

I started to ask for a break in every year. He still managed to catch me back and I believe maybe it just my silly and emo action or maybe I being too childish on talking about the break. I told him that somehow I felt he is not the guy I want and he just smile.

So, everything looks going well. We came to more than 6 years in our relationship but the same thing keeps repeating.

Finally, one day when he was telling that he hope we can settle down once I finished my study.

To be honest, I started to feel scared. The feeling of we are just friend, u are not the one that I wanted to spend my next 50 years with came into my mind again but I just leave it.

However, this actually tortured me for months and years.

At last, I came into my mind. I wasn’t childish, I wasn’t emo. The deep down of myself see through the real of me.

I was just running away from the truth. I don’t have the courage to face the truth. I always thought I must keep this relationship last longer enough because everybody is looking forward to see our happy ending. I shouldn’t leave him as we already in so many years of relationship.

I questioned the definition of love.

I love him and I love myself too. So I decided to say out my decision. That time he was busy to settle the details of buying a house.

He accepted.

But he was not really accepted, he still planned to get me back and he failed.

I cried for 2 days. I relieved. Never expect to have such feelings.

Relieved as in like I am free now!!! Not the feeling of relieving from being miserable in the relationship.

He is a good guy. He takes care of me very well. I sincerely appreciate what he has done for me.

But, I don’t want to cheat him and also to myself.

After asking for the break, friends don’t understand me even my family members.

Everybody can’t accept this. Ppl criticize on my foolish decision. Probably I disguise myself too well till nobody aware of my nonsense thought. So when they was told about the decision. They were shocked and unbelievable. 

Something terrible happened (I really wanted to say wtf for this matter) and make him mistaken my intention of asking the break, I explained and he doesn’t buy it. We both in a bad shaped.

I tired of explaining. I frustrated. I shouted. I yelled.

No point. He doesn’t buy it. So, I don’t give a damn anymore.

We are not friend, not in contact neither in Fb or MSN. 

I refuse succumb to rumors. I believe in myself, holding my ground.

Ppl even think this is too fast for me to start a new relationship. I need a new starting over and I just start in a different way.

The days, the hours, the minutes and the seconds are long enough for me to clear the mess emotion after the break. I don’t need couple of years (for this relationship) and I just in a sense of facing it rather than running away from it so I able to make through this hard time. In fact, I surprised too. Probably, I already prepared for it and it’s just that I don’t aware of it. I could tell that, I am firm for this.

It's been a period of time after the break. I truly hope that he is doing fine and I am sorry because I hurt someone that loves me. I am really sorry.

I thought I not gonna talk about this anymore but her post does bring back those flashback of the yesteryear. 

I feel like I'm writing a goofy post here and I just feel like doing it, wtf !!!

That's it. I done with it. 

The weather is hot.

Just came back after this short but satisfying 4 days getaway at hometown (2 months holiday and I only got to spend 4 days at home. wtf!!!). 
Finally...I really have to say a FINALLY for this long long holidays!!! Finally it's end.
Classes will be started officially on Wednesday.  (yessssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!)
Feeling good when get to know class is about to start and able to see my dearly friends around the college again!!!
Missing those fellas so much!!!

I can't define how lucky I am.
But I swear I gonna work hard for the coming workload.

ALL THE BEST!!!

Nis just got me some brochure which is all about the scenic spots in Malaysia.
Maybe he just give me a hint and wanted me to choose a place to go with him...hiak hiak hiak...
Or maybe I thinking too much here.
That's really works for me, cos I started to think of Langkawi.
When talk about Langkawi, there's always a eagle statue strike to my mind.
All those geographic memories in primary school. :)
First of all, I need a proper plan for my schedule and expenses. If not all these gonna be just a TALK here.
xixixixixixixixiixixixixixixixi...
Of the different states in Malaysia, except Johor, Penang Island is my second choice that I really fall in love with.
I would like to say, I addicted to its authentic local  food, culture and people.
One thing....of course the beach!!!!! I love beach so much!!!
(I think u guys probably already knew how much I attached to Penang through my previous post.)
If u ever think of a local trip within Malaysia, don't hesitate to pay ur visit to Penang.
If would be nice if there is a penangite friend be ur tour guide!!! with motobikes especially.

Speaking of traveling, I love travel.
Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Rome and etc....are always under my list of travel.

Ironically, I don't travel around Malaysia and yet I'm talking about overseas.
So, those overseas plan...just leave it la !!!! lol
After browse through some photo album, I got to know that actually I have been to several places in Malaysia.
Photos as follow:

 My very first Pangkor trip.

 Cameron trip. 

Very nice and memorable!!!

Melaka trip.

We rent a car and drove all the way to Melaka!!!

Fantastic!!!

On the way back to KL, we dropped by PD to try this.

She might look happy with this durian in this picture but She doesn't like durian!!!

Last year, the Genting trip!!!

We have fun!!!

Opps...I didn't realise we have been to those places in the past three years.
Not only those scenic sports out from KL area, I been to Putrajaya, Cheras, KLCC....etc last year.
I know maybe I sound like a 'kampung girl' but if there is no guidance or invitation from friends, I would have stay in my room or just jalan jalan around PJ area only...blek^^

Frankly speaking, those exploration do increase my passion on traveling, especially backpacking.
The 1st place I would like to have my backpacking is Taiwan!!!!!!!!!!!
Feeling so excited and looking forward to my plan but still need a couple years to make it works!!!

So let work harder for it by now!!!
Gambateh!!!

Do u guys love travel?!!!

想家了。

我想家了。
今早，老妈打了通电话过来。以为我明天就回家了。
我说搞错了，是后天。
我妈应该是想我了吧！！！
我，也想家了！！！

OK, finishing my home-sick story here.

 =.=lll

I got an awesome photography book recently.
I love photography and I got the talent too...xixixixixixixi....
Here, the proof of my talent... (simply say it >.<):

 In Kemaman.

In Penang

I used to have one camera...but I lost it...forever I lost it.
BUT...I never lost the passion . N.E.V.E.R !!!
I got this book free because Mr D bought it with part of his rm200 book voucher...!!! Thx dude!!!
So now...I gonna work hard to get my fav camera!!!! I do need that.

Next week, our class is going to start again!!! So happy...cos I can meet those fellows again!!!!
My cohort 2 lovely fellows........muazkssssssssss!!!

That day, I got an awesome day with Mr D in OneUtama.
For the very first time, I enjoyed myself in 1U.
Last time, I used to suffered due to the insufficiency of public transport and the big big shopping mall which totally drive me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!
This time I feel like a slug. Walking around the mall slowly....pretty enjoying!!!
We happened to dropped by a candy shop. That's cool!!!

Our first sight to the candy shop!!!

WOW...

Teddy in the house ^^

It looks nice...but I don't dare to have one!!!

(I save my teeth!!!)

I love this!!!

All my childhood memories just pop out when I saw it!!!

This cup is very nice in presenting a vintage feel.

 I love vintage.

Candy craze!!!

Smiling candy...

<3

All kids are going crazy...

making noise to beg the parents just for all these candies...

This shop definitely a heaven for those kids. They have theirs own trolly, they got the rights to choose all type of candies as long as the parents is willing to pay for them!!!

That's really cute of them when pushing those trolly around the shop!!!

 Small kids and small trollies. 

Pretty enjoyed the 1U mall with him. 

Candy sweet, so do we.

What's that mean?

 I'm feeling old. >.<

 This is the book that I'm reading now. Very inspiring.

 Read when doing work.

 

I do a reflection upon myself when I'm reading this book.
It enrich my mind and perspective. I got a brand new thought after reading the story one by one.
Ppl always say appreciate what u already have but I didn't get that sense clearly.
After reading this book, I got the sense of appreciation.

I love life.

Happy Valentine's day!!!

Happy Valentine's day!!!

Oh man, trust me...I got a hectic valentine's day ever. Finally, I got time to sit and sleep well.
It was super hectic before and during valentine's day. OT in the shop and work for the order list which almost drive everybody into crazy!!! I only got to sleep for 3 hrs....!!!!! (My eye bag is BIG enuf to be seen >.<).

Blek... =.=lll

I looking forward to our 1st valentine's day. So, I planned to give smtg special.
As usual, I made a card.
However, I got no ideas what to give!!!! 
At last, I decided to give a photo frame with our smiling picture on.
I browse through so many photos...and finally I choose one and the reason for choosing this is I hope we always happy and smile sweetly as this picture. (Sorry, I blur blur and forgot to take down the pictures of the card and gift.)


He gave me a surprise on Sunday...  He put the hand bouquet inside his motor box.

 From him...thx ya^^

So, when I opened it...I was like ..." huh?!!!"
Never expected he will give it to me in advance.
Of course, I was happy and surprised. Quite impressed to his way of approach.
That is a moment of time, I actually suspected is he wrongly put the flower inside the box after he collected? or he forgot to hide it up after the collection? cos he suppose to give it to me on the exact day not now!!!
I think too much right!!! He got this plan because he afraid the flower may wither after a long keeping time without a proper way to keep it fresh and it is not so suitable to collect the flower on the exact day as he got class till late on tat day.
OK,explanation accepted!!!

As what I planned, I gave it to him on the valentine's day after work.
From what he got from me. He loves it!!! That's enuf to know that he loves it. Thanks ya, Braces man.
On that day, we just went to eat curry at the roadside stall and Starbucks.
There, I received a chocolate shaped box with delicious chocolate in it!!!

 That's really cute container!!! I like it!!!

 Sorry, I almost finish up all the chocolate!!!

 Blek^^

After all this, we went to yum cha with our bunch of friends....that's how our V-day was.
Some of my friends always said that, as long as we still love each other, everyday can be our Valentine's day!!!
So, the day would be just like normal day as usual.
I think this is bullshit!!!!!!!!! I don't deny this is a good quote and somehow we should think in this way.
But, on this day.....as everybody in the world is celebrating it why u want to make ur loved one down?!
No need expensive hand bouquet or candled light dinner.
A card...a hug or ur faithful words will do the V-day memorable!!!
At least smtg u do, to let her/him know u wanna extract ur special love on this day!!!
I'm very sure girls are always expected, anticipated smtg from the bf on this day. (maybe some are not really care BUT I do care!!!).
I experienced unhappy V-day where the person practically supported this quote by showing through the action. I ended up with disappointment.  
Somehow, we do need some funny trick or surprise to enhance our relationship, to cheer ur loved one. Make the relationship retain its freshness.
Just like the antique, same as it never was...
I met various kind of male customer when they came to purchase roses. I'm not saying they are stingy and I know that's is not easy to earn and save money when especially they are financially unstable.
So, for those who worry about theirs budget, I would like to suggest u this method:

A hand-made card (depend on what u want to do), one stalk of rose (RM3.50)

Ur big hug (free), faithful words (free), a kiss(free).

That's it. 

U already make her feel warm and touched.

Tips from leeli guru: 

one stalk of rose without any wrapping

u must hug firmly and tightly.

A long kiss or a short kiss depend on u. 

Browse through kaa fui's Fb...she got an awesome V-day...and like what she said, every girl deserve to feel like a princess for  a day. So what are u waiting for? make ur girl feel like a princess and u love to do so!!! (of course every guys deserve to feel like a prince for a day as well. So ladies, just do it!!!!!!!!!)

Just simply a suggestion!!! Have a nice day!!!

Braces.

I MUST DO A BRACES !!!

I tell. From the deep down, I make a promise to myself.

A girl inspire me how this makes a person to be confident. This is proven, at least from my point of view.

One of my new year resolutions is TO BE CONFIDENT in everything. I used to be low self-esteem. This actually can be seen through my body language or my gesture.

I'm trying my best to practice have good confidence and get rid of those low self-esteem feelings. 

BECAUSE I AM AWESOME, SO I CAN MAKE IT

SO, the first thing I have to do is wearing a braces.

I used to my protruded teeth when I was a kid. 

Classmates teased at my teeth whenever I smile (Primary school).

Guys often commented I not looking good due to my dark complexion and teeth (Secondary school).  

Ppl out there encouraged me to wear braces for my teeth as this gonna be nice and good for me (College).

Conclusion: My teeth does matter to others.

I clearly know that all these does matter to me and how these bring me down as I totally lost confident to myself both physically and mentally.

I usually don't give a damn to the comment which telling me all these in a ironic manner.

Cos I still laughing out loud when I feel to do so, I smile nicely at ppl by showing my protruded teeth.

But somehow I do care what ppl suggesting. It just that I scared of pain and I don't really have a clear picture how this gonna make a change to me and my appearance.

Call me coward if u want.

After seeing the changes from that girl, I think I shouldn't hesitate about this anymore. 

Wearing a braces, bring some changes to myself. From the outer to the inner side.

So, I plan to get it once I complete my studies and get a job. (Hopefully, I don't run away at last minute!!!)

See...my teeth. It ain't looking bad from front rite?

BUT...from the side view, u can know the story...^^

p/s:  I can't bite burger and ice-cream by using my front teeth and it can only be done from the side :(

Quick update.

Hey guys...It has been a long time since my last update of my new year post.
Was having a short trip with friends to Genting and busy with work in the shop as Valentine's day is just around the corner :)
Received 2 comments on my new year post!!! I'm not making it like a big deal but it does matter to me!!!
I always tot that no one will actually read my blog...cos b4 that I never receive any kind of comment in my blog.
This actually boost me a lot...I started enjoy myself on writing blog....
Do a quick update here with the picture talk.

Morning peeps...

 I'm not a cookies freak...

 yummy...^^

He warms my heart...I heart him...xoxoxo

 Found this card while cleaning the stock.

love it as it is simple yet a meaningful card.

 Another one.

 This is what I had spent with my RM200 voucher ^^

buy all I can!!!

 

Start my day with this lovely sunshine!!!

Have a nice day ^^

New Year in Penang.

This year, I got a different experience of new year celebration: pay my visit to Kek Lok Shi in Penang.
The temple was fully decorated with different colour lights and this only can be seen during CNY. I really pleased to get this precious chance.The lighting was awesome and attractive and this actually bring lots of ppl to the temple. Luckily, I got a super and awesome rider brought me up to the hill without bothered by the busy traffic. hehehehe....he is really good in riding motorbike ^^.

Here are some of the photos we taken tat day with his APPLE...

We taken from the pagoda. It is pretty high and I hide behind him due to altophobia...

                 

 Another view from the pagoda.

This is the 1st view when I stepped in the entrance. One word to describe: AWESOME!!!

 Phew...I was totally distracted by all these and ignored him while I keep snapping non-stop.xixixi

(sorry, my very 1st time to Kek Lok Shi during CNY)

 This taken when I climbed up the stairs.

 My fav picture of the day...love all these lanterns to the max...

 The lantern made the very Chinese ambiance around the temple (at least for me la, cos Chinese always got lantern in front of their house wat xoxoxoxo...)

 Finally, the dragon!!!!!!!! GONG XI FAI CAI!!!

 Pagoda and the lantern...one of my fav pictures as well. I can't really count all the lanterns cos there was really a lots of it...

 Fresh flower in front of the temple.

 Lantern again...(I'm so into the lantern pictures.)

 The  Goddess of Mercy. 

 

It is spectacular !!!

 We bought 2 of the small lotus table lamp.

So cute right?!!!

Many ppl brought their pro camera to snap this awesome moment...and I'm very sure theirs photos is really awesome compare to mine^^

I got delayed muscle soreness on the next day as the consequences of climbing up the pagoda...so tired wei...

Well, it is all worth it la...cos the view is really superb!!! Is just that I can't really enjoyed as I'm a alto-phobic person!!! Seriously...I sweated whenever I looked down >.<...

Apart from Kek Lok Shi, I managed to get the chance to go Moonlight Bay in Batu Ferringi. 

Still remember how Subba and I were desperate  to get into this nice and classy residence whenever we drove by Batu Ferringi.

And finally...I got the chance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually we were attending to the BBQ event of his friend who living in Moonlight Bay. I didn't take the pictures of the house because:

                     1: I forgot. I'm so into the decoration and scenery from his house. Halooo....he got nice sea view from his house every morning he wake up!!!!!!!!!!

                     2: Due to the privacy, I think I better not to do so. ^^

Managed to take some of the pictures near our BBQ area.

 All the houses got 5 LEVEL and equipped well with both stairs case and LIFT. Lift in the house wei!!!!!!!!! (Maybe I over acting but this is how I reacted when I saw the lift, I was so excited took it up and down his house. Nobody bother of taking stair case anymore).

Another view.

This is the only picture I took in his house. The corridor.

Along the corridor, you can reach the swimming pool and small resting pondok.

Love his house to the max!!!

Thats the 2 thing make part of my Penang trip so worthy during CNY.

Spend quality time with him and his family as well...we got small steamboat at his house.

No abalone, no shark fin, no champagne. Just normal home dishes with the SPICY Tom Yam soup and chicken soup. (The Tom Yam soup was really spicy!!!!! Which was made by Dennis Lieu!!!).

         Here is the steamboat la!!!

Got my very 1st instagram photos!!!

Thats all for my Penang trip.

 Enjoyed!!!

Bye Bye !!!